The Buddhist Hour Radio Broadcast Archives

Today, we hope to give you some insight into the methodology we use to guide our Members to learn and practice four or five good qualities that orchestrate to produce causes for Members to act as good friends to one another.

Most human beings are not born being friendly to each other without rigorous training. If they were, human civilisation would have no history of warfare.

Everybody responds to the myth of having a permanent friend.

But for the great mass of persons, this myth does not come to reality.

But there are training systems taught by Lord Buddha that make this mythical friendship actual in the world. It arises from training in mental health that goes beyond simple loyalty that has nothing to do with blind loyalty or blind attachment or some sort of fixation without real reflection or understanding what is happening in the mind.

In 1925, C. Jinarajadasa described the normal sequence followed by a clouded mindset in such matters.

"Our loving would go from glory to glory, if only the tides of cosmic desire did not enwrap us all around. When we begin to love, that craving ceases on the first stir in our heart, and with the touch of that craving a pollution enters into our love. A self begins quickly to weave itself into the loving, and "I love" becomes thenceforth an unending refrain. That element of self swiftly grows, fed by the craving; soon its characteristics dominate love. Then the self holds all for itself, and fiercely resents any attempt by another to share it. When the thought arises that the beloved may love another, jealousy flames up from within. It is not the soul who loves that is jealous; it is only the craving. But the soul does not know this, and identifies self with soul.

It is a quality of the craving that it ever seeks to entangle us more and more in the lower reaches of our being. When we would strike the higher chord, it prompts the lower. Slowly the hues of paradise give way to the colours of earth. Just as a lovely translucent colour, which a painter is evoking on his canvas gets dimmed the moment he lays even the thinnest film of a wrong pigment, so the glories of heaven, which make the aura of divine love, get slowly dimmed, as the little lovelinesses of the body usurp love's immaterial spiritual beauty." (1)

There may be comfort in a notion that there is someone who you can trust and call on to help you when in need. But is this notion likely to be actualised in a human life?

There is a saying known by followers of Buddha that friends become enemies and enemies become friends.

One of the major errors that Buddha warned his followers against was the danger of eternalist thought. To take refuge in a friend is an error of mind. Your friend may die tomorrow and you may not know the place of rebirth and he or she may have forgotten everything he or she knew about you.

What happiness can be found in that?

If you incline to a sense of irony you might say you can rely on your enemies to continue to attempt to thwart you in your work, pleasure and sleep. They will not fail to annoy you if you let them.

However, it is not useful to push this example too much if you are inclined to be of a hateful temperament because the thought of your enemies will incline to heat up and that will bring sickness and short life.

Each Friday evening we practice Buddha Dhamma and increase our sila (morality) base.

It is wise action to attend classes for detailed Dhamma instruction.

At times, acts of what look like friendship can interfere with this wise action.

Now, it is standard practice for many Members of our Knowledge Management Task Unit to continue work on writing, editing and proof reading each week's radio script on Friday evenings.

Among the Members of our Knowledge Management Task Unit is a person who is very proficient at editing.

Last Friday, at the request of another Member who works in Sydney she met her at Melbourne airport, had dinner with her and then drove her to her Melbourne home.

In balance, how would you rate that action?

Is one Member justified in taking a skilful editor away from a peak merit making group?

The woman who works in Sydney gets a very high salary and could well have afforded a taxi to get her home from the airport.

The woman who had driven her friend noted the low energy field nature of the restaurant compared to the higher more peaceful energy field at the Centre.

Another outcome was that because it was so late at night, the Member did not come to a morning class the next day.

The challenge is to know what limits to place on your finite time and finite life force energy when notions of friendship compete with what you think you truly practice.

This is an area where you come to see, each for himself or herself, what the Pali term kaliyana-mitta which could be translated as "true wise friend" means.

A kaliyana-mitta would have the wisdom to know her friend's time would be better spent in writing and editing Buddha Dhamma and would have understood it is not wise to "sell" the notion to her friend that it is better to waste her time waiting at an airport for little merit rather than working on a Buddha Dhamma talk.

It is interesting to note that prior to this, she had asked another friend, who is also a Member, to meet her at the airport, but her friend advised her that she saw the wiser choice was to attend the Buddha Dhamma teachings.

In past lives, both these friends and her dwelt in dakini worlds - but because the friendships are flawed, they need more practice to understand the value sets that comprise Buddha Dhamma.

The moral of the story is that it is far better from a Buddha Dhamma point of view to meet with a wise friend, the Buddha Dhamma Teacher being the wise friend, rather than follow the kammic inclination that brings two friends together out of past causes.

Fortunately, there is a ritual of fire sacrifice to Kurukula where you get permission of the Goddess of the Earth and bless the surroundings.

We do not do fire sacrifice because Victoria is too fire rich as can be seen from the drought conditions affecting the water catchment areas.

However, there is something very powerful in that ritual - a prayer for the Dhamma Partner, the Dakini:

Many like Ants only rancidity crave,
None respect the poor hermit and go to the cave
Many are so nice but fall into evil state,
None does regard the poor yogi so worthy to mate!
Powerful positions have been occupied.
None protects the great Yogi so glorified!
You the Holy Mother full of compassion,
None would avoid your charmful passion!
When anyone has been induced by your kindness,
She might be helpful to our propagation! (2)

As was said at the beginning, over time enemies can become friends and friends can become enemies.

It is matter of knowing the correct priorities.

A friendship based on emotional maturity is not flawed, unlike the friendship that operates from the kammic outcomes, and is essentially conditioned by views and opinions, expectations or feelings.

The normal interpretation which people place upon friendship is one based upon having something, an ownership of the other person where reciprocity is a condition of the friendship.

It is not possible to understand friendship without experiencing it first hand. It is experiential from our flawed causes in past lifetimes.
The need to build friends is supposed to be nascent in all persons, but it is better to treat that as fiction until compassion for others becomes dominant.

We do not want to be alone, but the fact is that we are born in pain alone - our mother or our best friend cannot be born for us - we are not devas who are spontaneously born - we were womb born.

We die alone - perfect death - no one can escape this or delegate it to our supposed best friend.

You cannot escape the need for friendship by doing it for yourself.

Your friends may help you get a better rebirth if they had high skill - but they do not know how to guide you at death - they may not even be at your deathbed.

Friendliness ( in pali: adosa) is a wholesome (kusula) cetasika and it is taught at our Centre.

Dosa means hate and the "a" is a negation term in Pali - so what we are talking about means "no-hate". That is one aspect of friendship as we seek to cultivate it.

The view you have of friendship is the wrong one. It has been shaped by whatever culture you have been living in.

The reality of human life described by Bukkyo Dendo Kyokai in 'The Teaching of Buddha' is that people in this world are prone to be selfish and unsympathetic; they do not know how to love and respect one another; they argue and quarrel over trifling affairs only to their own harm and suffering, and life becomes but a dreary round of unhappiness.

It is written that 'regardless of whether a person is rich or poor, they worry about money; they suffer from poverty and they suffer from wealth. Because their lives are controlled by greed, they are never contented, never satisfied. (3)

The Venerable Tan Achaan Boonyarith once wrote in a letter to the Members of our Centre that the Highest Friendship, true friendship, can only be achieved when two people are able to see through or penetrate to the nature of things as they really are. True friendship is reciprocal understanding - that means no secret is left behind. (4)

This state of true happiness is another type of dyad relationship and is called caga in Pali.

This term might be translated in this context as emotional maturity.

If this caga state is attained this life, the two persons can be together in a future life.

How are caga networks formed?

Some of the conditions are to meet together in harmony without harsh words, to depart without grief and in harmony without harsh words, and to meet regularly both as a couple and with other like-minded persons.

The way people karmically link together is utilised by our organisation to drive the centre's culture of change as a learning organisation.

How do we form and utilize these formal and informal networks?

We form networks by getting our Members involved in the practice of generosity regarding material things, which they may find useful.

These material things could range from painting exhibitions to chanting sheets and extend to building materials, furniture, computers, and even for fire victims with such basics as bedding, household goods and clothes. It may also including giving Dhamma Dana or giving written and spoken teachings or literature to persons who wish to use it.

We would like to emphasise the power of networks because of their inherent capacity to create change each for himself or herself. Our proviso is that these networks should be based on the development of wholesome cetasikas.

Although we are global in reach we do not have the resources to deliver everything that is requested from Buddha Centres in many poor countries.

We do, however, give moral support by publishing their requests for aid internationally and they feel happy that they are not alone and know that they have a good friend, as they directly feel our friendship towards them which comes from our heart.

They have friendship in the Dhamma from teams of our Members and our team work over decades lets them know our Teacher is their kalyana-mitta friend.

Our practice holds together people of different minds and cultural drivers.

Our roles and relationships in building networks and maintaining relationships worldwide in practicing Dhamma is so widespread our Teacher was awarded the Visuddhananda Peace Award 1999.

When our Teacher instructs his students, he is teaching them for the benefit of themselves and others.

He sends endless loving kindness (in Pali: Metta) to the student as he can see with clear vision, the past and present suffering of the student and how much more suffering the student may meet with in this, and future lives.

The Teacher spends many hours instructing the right view, knowing very well that the student may run away....this however does not stop him teaching.....he feels great love and compassion for his students and wants them to succeed in their Dhamma practice.

He sees the great potential in some of his students, which they are not able to see for themselves.

Because of the skill and compassion of the teacher to be a true friend is... "One who wishes well; a sympathiser, a patron, a supporter", according to the Shorter Oxford English Dictionary. This is quite an accurate description of the role of a Teacher of Dhamma. (5)

In his book "Cutting through Spiritual Materialism" Chogyam Trungpa devotes an entire chapter to the relationship between the Teacher and the student.

In it he describes the relationship as being between two minds rather than being "a master-servant relationship between a highly evolved being and a miserable confused one."

He states that in order to learn, the student must go through a process of stripping off layers of hypocrisy. This is in contrast to the way the Guru is often approached. The hopeful student dresses up to impress and puts on affectations of speech and behaviour in order to impress and con the Teacher into accepting him or her as a student.

But this is fruitless, the teacher sees through all such fabrications and ploys. (6)

In the Kali Yuga, the Dhamma ending age, networks are all about business not friendships. Relationships are driven by a selfish view based upon 'what is in it for me'.

How do we build the quality of decent friendships into our human relationships?

We teach in order:

--adosa
--metta
--caga
--persistence
--and 30 different reasons for using kalya-mitta ideas because until these reasons are known as 3rd order knowledge it is not possible to bring together nascent qualities of the best out of people.

However, unless persons have done good things in the past times it is unlikely they can obtain very rapid development for themselves to a level that is irreversible in virtue.

This is why we talk about friendship taking lifetimes of learning.

The Five Styles as they are described are the basis for one model of behaviour that can be obtained using second and third order knowledge encouraged at the Buddhist Discussion Centre (Upwey) Ltd.

Other faster-learning models require Vajrayana access to 4th order knowledge.

All of our students are encouraged to develop 2nd and 3rd order knowledges through practice of the five styles for the benefit of themselves and others within our formal networks.

Our five styles are:

1. Friendliness
2. Practicality
3. Professionalism
4. Cultural Adaptability
5. Scholarship

The state of development in our informal networks is indeterminate because of lack of documentation.

We make this statement because we see how many variables are of short duration in the complexity of our organisation. It could be likened to chaos. But we can still deal with the matter by applying our best minds and exploring what we have.

As they raise their awareness things become clearer to students.

Unless they raise their awareness, Members are just as likely to repeat their childhood stories and folklore and try to place that into our organisation.

When members use their childhood stories with other members, they are operating in 1st or 2nd order knowledge and wish to stop the creativity of other members.

This practice is not encouraged at the Buddhist Discussion Centre (Upwey) Ltd, and by following the five styles, all members can only benefit themselves and others.

How many informal networks are running within our organisation at present?

We do not produce an annual report of the performance of our internal informal networks.

We have some anecdotal information regarding our participation in external informal networks.

Yet we think we know that these networks of Members are bringing some beneficial outcomes to our planning process.

But we have no performance indicators of what value these beneficial outcomes bring to us.

Are we getting more value (in the form of an increase in the resources obtained per day from Member's time spent informally), or are we getting less value?

We have few measurement methods in place to ensure a consistency of message and effort. For example, when Members work together on writing a radio script, how do their informal networks, used for sounding out their ideas, influence the relevance of the script in terms of our public relations on that day?

We do not want to send out mixed signals internally or externally. How can we bring together our informal networks to relay our message?

We have very little organised information about how, where and when our informal networks operate within our organisation.

We have even less organised information about how our informal networks operate outside our organisation.

Why do we tend not to investigate our informal Networks?

Informal networks are a primal and the strongest form of communication available.

This communication has always been with us. In non-literate societies it may be the only form of communication.

The first newspaper was printed in 1609 by Johaan Carolus. Rudimentary newspapers appeared in other European countries between 1610 and 1661.

As an organisation we need to develop a greater awareness of the great power and influence of informal networks.

In the early 20th century, newspapers were read by a small minority of first world citizens.

It would be beneficial if each person identified and evaluated the informal networks to which they belong and left those networks that clouded their minds.

We do not wish to get paralysis by analysis.

The Buddha once advised his Monks, "one should keep close company with a spiritual friend (kaliyana-mitta) unless one falls into the habit of doing evil, and by keeping close contact with a spiritual friend one is finally convinced of one's considerable growth in learning, dana, insight-knowledge and wisdom.

"But if he keeps company with a bad friend (papamitra), he will lose trust, be wanting in moral training, learning, insight knowledge and wisdom. For this reason, you should keep close company with a spiritual friend and not a bad friend."

As an organisation we need to develop a greater awareness of the influence that informal networks have on our operations.

Our objective is to be a paramount producer and distributor of good information.

By function, we might be described as an organisation that generates and delivers information to others in a friendly manner. As an information centre, our processes are susceptible to erroneous information, just as food production is subject to contamination by bacteria.

One of our most precious assets is our information integrity. This asset must be closely guarded.

Informal networks can threaten or maintain our information integrity. Members must come to regard informal networks as media that can help drive strategy.

Informal networks can help drive our strategy as our message is re-enforced by repetition. The message becomes more real the more often it is transmitted along the grapevine.

Enthusiasm is contagious. One enthusiastic Member can motivate many others. Our training methods promote message clarity along informal networks.

Hold the organisation together in challenging conditions;

When the whole world is against us, we still have our friends. This might not quite be the case, but informal networks do promote closeness between persons. At a high level, it can develop a unity, camaraderie, and a powerful sense of mission.

Help solve problems quickly;

Members know who to ask for help when they have a problem that cannot be resolved by searching our knowledge database. They have learned our terminology well enough to be able to frame meaningful questions so their peers can distinguish and focus on the heart of the problem.

Transfer our best practice culture;

By spending friendly time with others, a well-trained Member can be a positive example of our best culture. Whilst most of the details of best culture are transferred during more formal processes, what is conveyed during these informal networks is most valuable, as the person can get a sense of what best practice friendly culture is like.

Provide an example of one who has developed a sound Buddha Dhamma practice;

One who has developed the correct friendship in Buddha Dhamma is an example to those who are yet to develop themselves at all or to such an extent. Members can say, "If I practice well then I might attain that wholesome trait or this wholesome trait, which I have noticed in such or so Member". They may see such wholesome traits as attainable for themselves.

In the main they can see from observing friendship in other areas other Members that the ardent practice of Buddha Dhamma friendship bears very considerable fruits indeed.

Help us recruit and retain appropriate Members.

For one who is considering undertaking the correct friendship in Buddha Dhamma, it is instructive for them to watch and listen to our existing Members. Informal networks have the mark of spontaneously matching like with like. A person may initially commit to practice at our Centre either wholly or partially because he or she likes our Members.

Friendship makes a person like a moist leaf - very flexible. Likewise, a friendly Member undergoing a challenging time may be retained due to the assistance, good advice and kindness given by those of their informal networks. But an unfriendly Member becomes like a dried up leaf - easy to fall to pieces.

Our present position;

We assess that informal networks have a greater influence on our organisation than formal networks. Whilst the number of hours spent per week in formal networks and project teams are relatively small, the number of hours spent in informal networks is large.

Every time we stop for a chat, a coke, coffee, tea, or food with others, we can engage in friendship in our informal networks. It could be said that whenever we are in the company of others, and not in a formal network, then we are certainly in an informal network of some kind.

We must retract the tendency to become sour in our relationships.

Every time we feel at home we drop our guard, and do not know in what type of informal network we are engaged. Is it positive, negative or neutral? What values do we hold when we engage in our informal networks?

The danger is in not knowing that we are antisocial.

Where formal networks of Members meet at predetermined times and locations, informal networks can form, operate and disperse, any time anywhere.

Which of the two is more energised? Which of the two is more flexible?

Something that can form, operate and disperse, any time anywhere, has the marks of an S5 system. S5 is a most advanced management system where teams take complete actions to get the job well done and improve the method of doing it next work cycle.

Inherent in the S5 system of management is the notion that Task Unit Members utilize precise language while maintaining flexibility in order to effectively exploit opportunities arising out of change.

S5 generates a domesticated type of informal networks which channel communication about activities to achieve the strategic objectives of the organisation.

The law requires sound documentation. Documentation also gives continuity to any program or policy development and serves as a training tool for Members who want to come on board.

The reason for saying this is we have a hypothesis that the more news and detail Members have about what is happening, the less they invent false news by informal rumours.

S5 management style is a flat lean structure having self directed work teams.

In S5 management the members of the group are equally responsible along with the group leader for running a project. Persons with S5 management skills have the creative ability to focus on intent and find the right practical strategy in a new field. They can uncover three or four tactics suitable for the new field and sell the organisation that it should enter that field.

The S5 person must be able to write down options in fine detail. Personal development should be designed to enhance attitudes and judgement. This requires awareness, knowledge and skills. The S5 person shares training. The training resources and materials generated are to be made available to others in the organisation for each training occasion as required.

The Buddhist Hour Knowledge Management Task Unit has been drilled in how to get new team members assembled and how to operate as a team in S5 management.

It has both power and flexibility.

This is why these informal networks are recognised as having great potential benefit to our organisation. But used haphazardly, friendship may be of little benefit.

An informal network will make decisions involving choice of a course of action perceived as most favourable in context. They are typically complex; that is, they involve synthesis and discrimination of personal values, views, and preferences of the participants of the informal network.

The question is whether or not the outcome will help to deliver our message of friendship or thwart it. This depends upon the shared values of the informal network.

In our organization, it is not "cool" to be sour and antisocial. We do not cherish anti-heroes as our role models.

Identification of our Informal Networks through the use of an analytical framework

The recent past has seen many organisations attempt to quash informal networks. John Hunt, 1979, posits that "the most frequent methods have been to disallow talking or keep changing group membership. These were extraordinarily stupid tactics if you are aiming to cultivate adosa (friendship).

Hunt also suggests that informal and formal networks form in close time proximity, and both networks exist within a greater mandala with the role system at its core.

Operating in conjunction with the role system, are the situational environment, formal network, informal network, individual variables, inputs, outputs, external pressures, and objectives.

It should be noted that one friendly person may belong to many informal networks, and the types of informal networks may vary considerably even to the point of seeming most contradictory.

Unfriendly persons do not seek to be in informal networks.

Whilst some informal networks may be seem mutually exclusive, most are not.

It would be inconceivable that a man who belonged to an "Ageist" informal network at his place of employment, might belong to a "Non-Ageist" informal network in his nuclear and extended family. Membership to both networks may be a response to peer pressure, and neither might accurately belie his position on the matter.

The male or female informal network

Idle chatter is of little use in true friendship. We are not a sexist organisation.

The members of this informal network are very close. The have a high affinity and empathy with one another. Their conversation is light, and not overtly negative. These Members can work together with little friction.

But when they do work together, they are under productive. In the past they might have catalogued four library books in one day. Under our new culture they have catalogued 101 library books in one day.

Having done this, they cease to continue to banter about things trivial and non-related to the library peak performance.

If they could have held the awareness of their high performance in their minds for eight hours, then they would not destroy most of their wholesome minds and merit.

Question; why do they do it?

Answer; because out of bad habit, they would prefer to forfeit a wholesome mind for one that can trivialise the world (unwholesome). The trivialised world is not threatening and appears to be manageable (but in fact it is not).

This practice, continued for a short time, can render the person unsuitable to learn for some time.

To improve, members of this male or female informal network should strive to operate in true friendship with one another without destroying wholesome minds and merit, maintaining wholesome qualities, such as friendliness, lightness and empathy whilst staying focused on the subject at hand.

The danger to these persons is that since the first order mind is almost always trivial, and rarely single pointed, then it loses current skills; such as, for example; typing word per minute rate.

It becomes an unsuitable medium to hold higher order Buddha Dhamma. Any person who cannot learn at least some 2nd and 3rd order knowledge ends up leaving our organisation.

Methods of Practice

Some Tibetan methods of practise emphasise meditations that cultivate the awareness that all sentient beings have been our mothers (as we have had an infinite number of past births) and in that capacity they have been very kind to us.

Even so, we may still find it very hard to see all sentient beings as our closest relative (which is our mother). We need to recognize that those who are friendly to us, those who harm us, and those who are of no concern, are not fixed in their relationship to us.

We should be aware that our friends of today may become our future antagonists and, conversely, our enemies may also become our friends at some future time.

Appearances can be deceptive.

Friends and enemies are equal in that they both may be the means for progress towards Enlightenment. This is because, due to the practice of 'Thought Transformation', the recognition of the kindness of a friend cultivates a realisation of indebtedness and gratitude and this fact reinforces the wish to become Enlightened in order to be of real value in repaying this kindness.

We may also regard the hurtful actions of an enemy as the ripening of karma results (vipaka) and thus the purveyor of these actions may help to inspire us to be rid of the erroneous self-cherishing minds that caused such actions because we do not wish for a repetition of the actions.

In short, cherishing others is the source of all happiness, so from now on, we should train our minds in Bodhicitta, if we have taken Bodhisattva Vows and wish to affirm them.

The lineage of Teachings on 'Thought Transformation' were brought to Tibet by the Indian Dharma-Master Sri Atisha Dipankar (982-1054 CE) who had received them over a twelve-year period from his Master or Guru, Venerable Serlingpa, in Suniatra.

May these precious Teachings on 'Thou"Lama" (literally, superior) is reserved strictly for Tulkus or incarnate lamas, and for Gurus who give formal teachings, whether or not they are Monks or Geshes.

Thus the term "Lama" can never be taken as a synonym for "Monk". Rather it is the equivalent of the Sanskrit word "Guru".

When an assistant Abbot becomes Abbot, he earns the title "Rinpoche" (Precious One). If he so chooses, he can start a line of incarnate Lamas after him. These successors will also bear the title "Rinpoche" from birth and be regarded as Lamas.

The title "Geshe" which means a spiritual friend, refers to a degree not unlike a Doctorate.

From the age of about eight, until twenty five years, the candidate must study and thoroughly master five main subjects, and to pass severe oral examinations on them in public. His Holiness the Dalai Lama too had to take such examinations in front of thousands of Monks in Lhasa.

In a teaching given at Tushita on November 14th, 1979, H.H. Kyabje Ling Rinpoche taught that as a result of the birth of the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, great waves of enlightened energy spread throughout the universe, influencing sentient beings to create positive kamma.

In brief, H.H. teaches we should have the wish to help others maintain their happiness and separate from suffering regardless of whether they have acted as friend or enemy to us.

The true blessing is we take upon ourselves the responsibility of actually fulfilling others requirements.

When the practice is near completion, the Bodhisattva develops the granting of wishes for the benefit of others. True compassion does not discriminate between beings; it regards all with equal emotion.

With an effective Bodhisattva Guru - disciple relationship, step by step the seeds of Bodhicitta can grow within us.

Some individuals have the erroneous notion that they can do things on their own.

This stance can be motivated by the negative emotion of hate. Because of this hate the person cannot enter into a constructive relationship - business or private - with another person or group of persons. Their hate alienates them from having friendly relationships with others.

Venerable Ajahn Manivong, who taught at our Centre last Tuesday 14 March, told that the Buddha said we must meet in harmony, look after each other, live together. He said that we think we are all alone and we don't need any one. But this is not true. Think of all the persons looking after the electricity plants, water works, sewerage systems, food shops and so on.

We need a thousand persons to give us the things we have in our houses.

The Venerable taught that real love is not based on lust, which "loves" one minute and "hates" the next.

Because we do not have the right understanding we resort to fighting with ourselves 24 hours a day for 365 days of the year. From the moment we wake up from our sleep we think about the past and feel sad. Then we think about the future and we worry.

We think about the present and we feel tired. Our minds are full of these things, never satisfied and always wanting something different. And when we do not get the things that we crave for we get angry and end up fighting with ourselves.

Because of this our minds become hard like a rock, with no happiness - no friendliness, even when we come into contact with that which is good or wholesome.

This self fighting is so subtle that we do not even know that we are doing it - we cannot hear or see this self fighting.

You must first love yourself before you can love others. Then when you love yourself you see the things that are good and you begin to see how to make other people happy - and how to develop friendship.

He taught that lust will always result in hate and hate makes you fight with yourself. You get hot and then boil. This burning is the sign of lust (raga). It is defilement (akusala dhammas) or the unwholesome state of mind.

So who are we fighting with?

We are fighting with our mind. It is our mind who is our master.

The mind craves for this and that, always craving for more. It is this craving that leads to dukkha. The way out of dukkha is the Middle Way or Majjhima Patipada.

The Middle Way is not to sleep too much, eat too much or play too much, for when we do this we end up living beyond our means and spend all of our money.

When we have exhausted our money we end up borrowing from others.

When it comes to paying the people who we owe money to we get angry " Oh I'll pay you tomorrow" or " Oh I'll pay you soon, " and we become angry. Anger then leads to hate and hate makes us burn and we continue to fight with ourselves.

Humans are very dumb because we do not understand.

We can stop this by following the Middle Way and doing good things. And when we do good things we do not need to worry or feel sad and tired.

When we follow the Middle Way we do things that are good and we stop the burning and get happier. We begin to experience friendship. (7)

To sum up what we have taught today about friendship as value creation is not easy because it represents one of the more complex aspects of our culture we use when we create in our organisation persons who have pushed forward enough in their 2nd and 3rd order understanding to be able to write today's script.

We do not blindly follow our impulses and desires of the moment when we craft a radio script - we draw upon a variety of thesauri from our high grade reference library resources.

To work in this manner means commitment must be strong - but that is another story we will discuss at some future time.

For the present, we hope our listeners see that, without using 2nd or 3rd order knowledge, the process of writing the radio program script in its present form could only arise AFTER we had changed our own view of how we interact with others. It is true this meant dropping the old karmic links based on unwholesome minds (akusala), we were born into this life, and forming new links based on wholesome minds (kusala).

So, in conclusion, let us tell you that we can provide the training systems taught by Lord Buddha that makes this mythical friendship actual in the world.

We could sum up our training in friendship and mental health by saying it goes beyond simple loyalty. We have nothing to do with blind loyalty or blind attachment as a basis of friendship.

We will not train persons in the false friendship that really is some sort of fixation without real reflection or understanding what is happening in the mind.

Organisations that do such things that are conditioning persons by brain washing. This is definitely not Buddha Dhamma.

We wish all our Members and listeners to practice adosa in their formal and informal networks.

When adosa is mastered, may they practice metta (loving kindness) towards one another and finally, if they intend to stay in the world to help others, may they practice caga towards each other.

Then, and only then, can they be termed kaliyana-mitta.

May all being be well and happy and cultivate true friendship.

References:

1. Jinarajadasa. C. Release a Sequel to the Wonder Child. Theosophical Publishing House - Madras, India, 1925. P32-35

2. Chen. C. M. A Systematized Collection of Chenian Booklets. Vol Two Nos 63-100. Page. 1350

3 Bukkyo Dendo Kyokai. 'The Teaching of Buddha'. The Corporate Body of the Buddha Foundation, Taipei, Taiwan 1989. P95-96

4. Letter from Tan Achaan Boonyarith

5. Shorter Oxford English Dictionary

6. Chogyam Trungpa "Cutting through Spiritual Materialism" Shambhala Dragon Editions. Boston USA 1973.

7. Sumedho, Ajahn. The Spirit of Commitment. Amaravati Publications. UK 1992

8. Venerable Ajahn Manivong. A Dhamma talk given at our Centre on Tuesday 14 March 2000. Ref: Brooking Street Bugle 2nd Edition. No.32

9. ISYS entries - from km\bddr\bddm\news_07.txt)

10. ISYS entries - from km\bddr\newsl_23.txt)

11. ISYS entries - from km\bddr\bddm-newsl10.txt)



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