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Tomorrow is the 14th of February, St Valentine's day, a day which evokes rich imagery of love and lush red roses, and a day where throughout the world people buy and offer flowers and gifts.

From a Buddha Dhamma view point there is virtue in the offering of flowers. Why is this so?

Because the offering of flowers is the practice of generosity (in Pali: Dana). This is the first perfection in Buddha Dhamma practice.

For many centuries Dhamma Practitioners have understood the virtue in offering flowers to the Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha, family and friends.

Why is it a virtuous deed to make the offering of flowers?

The Buddha taught that due to cause and effect there are ten blessings arising from the offering of flowers.

These are:

1. Long Life
2. Good Health
3. Strength
4. Beauty
5. Wisdom
6. Ease along the Buddha Dhamma Path
7. Being born in beautiful environments
8. Born with good skin, hair and beautiful to look at
9. Always having a sweet smelling body
10. Pleasant relationships with friends

If human beings understood that the offering of flowers leads to the above ten blessings, flower stalls around the world would be sold out before 7.00 am not only on Valentines Day but every day of the year.

The Buddha Dhamma theory of causation, as explained by Daisaku Ikeda in the publication 'Buddhism:The Living Philosophy' (published by The East Publications, Inc., 1st edition 1974) (1), describes the present self as an accumulation of actions from the past. All past causes contribute to the present effect. As Buddha Dhamma sees it, fate is the continuous working of cause and effect in life; it is a stream of strict cause and effect relations extending back into a limitless past and forward into a limitless future. Buddha Dhamma teaches that by revising one's view of life in each present moment, one can gradually change the course of one's kamma.

What is kamma?

In a lecture given by the Venerable Sayadaw U Sobhana in 1972, on ' The Theory of Kamma in Buddhism', and reproduced in a publication titled 'An Introduction to Buddha Dhamma', (donated by U Kyaw Thein Lwin and family) (2), the Pali term "kamma" literally means action or doing. The Venerable Sayadaw U Sobhana stated that...Any kind of intentional action whether mental, verbal or physical is regarded as Kamma. It covers all that is included in the phrase thought, word and deed. Generally speaking, all good and bad actions constitute kamma. In its ultimate sense, kamma means all moral and immoral volition. Involuntary, unintentional, or unconscious action, though technically deeds, does not constitute kamma, because volition, the most important factor in the determining of kamma, is absent.

The Buddha says:

"I declare o Bikkhus, that volition is kamma. Having willed one acts by body, speech, and thought". (Anguttara Nikaya)

As Buddhists, we are thankful to the creators of the myth which surrounds the memory of Saint Valentine. Each year since the mid 1990s the Buddhist Discussion Centre (Upwey) Ltd has held a flower stall on St.Valentines Day.

Operating the flower stall provides members and friends of the Buddhist Discussion Centre (Upwey) Ltd. with the opportunity to make merit through the preparation and running of the flower stalls. Through these flower stalls people who purchase the flowers are also provided with the opportunity to make merit through the subsequent offering of these flowers to family and friends. The stalls also provide our Centre with the chance to raise funds.

This year our St.Valentine's day flower stalls will be located in Lilydale and Wantirna.

The practice of working on the flower stalls also enables members and friends of The Buddhist Discussion Centre (Upwey) Ltd. to practice the five styles of Friendliness, Practicality, Professionalism, Cultural Adaptability and Scholarship. The merit of this action assists in removing hindrances to learning. As Mahasi Sayadaw in the book the 'One Truth Only' published in 1998 (3) states,

There are five causes of deterrents, called hindrances, to the attainment of concentration and wisdom. These are: sensual desire, ill will, laziness, restlessness and doubt. Here, laziness means reluctance to hear or practice the Dhamma and getting bored or dejected during meditation. Restlessness is worry or anxiety over one's mistakes in the past, and doubt refers to doubt about the Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha, or about the way to the attainment of the supreme supramundane path, fruition and Nibbana.

The offering of flowers on St.Valentine's Day aids in keeping the memory of St.Valentine alive in the present.

Let us now look at the folklore surrounding St.Valentine.

There are different accounts of the life of St.Valentine. Accurate accounts of St.Valentine are rare, with the earliest documented facts about his life starting from the time when he was ordained a bishop of the City of Terni and of the Christian communities along the valley of the river Nera.

According to the Italian city of Terni's internet site (www.fcesi.wnet.it/TernilnlLinea/vita.htm)(4), it appears that St.Valentine was born in Terni around 175 C.E. during the empire of Marcus Aurelius. From the time of his ordination he became very famous because of his eloquence, with which he was able to convert many pagans to the Christian faith. St.Valentine had many followers among which there were many saints and martyrs, some of whom were drowned in the river Serra. He was also famous for the many miracles which were attributed to him.

One of these miracles was the cure of the son of a certain Fonteo who held his head in an unnatural way between his knees. Another of these miracles, which eventually led to St.Valentine's death, was the cure of Cheremon, the son of a famous Athenian orator called Crato who used to make a bellowing sound like a cow.

In those times it was not the custom for members of the dominant pagan religion to welcome Christians into their homes, but Crato, even before the performance of this miracle on his son, invited St.Valentine into his house, and such faith was immediately rewarded as his son was cured instantly. After this extraordinary event Crato had himself and his whole family baptised, and soon after his own decipals Proculo, Efebo, Apollonio and Abondio decided to follow in Crato's footsteps and become Christians.

As it happened, Abondio was the son of Annio Placido, who was the prefect of Rome during the reign of Marcus Aurelius Claudio.

Annio Placido, who was very entrenched in the principle of pagan religion and was angered by the sudden choice by his son to become a Christian, responded by having Crato, who was his son's tutor, killed. On the same day, Annio Placido got St.Valentine, who was by then close to 100 years old, beaten up in public. This action incited a popular revolt and therefore Annio Placido had St.Valentine jailed and beheaded during the night on the pretext he was a Christian.

The remains of St.Valentine were collected by Crato's three disciples Proculo, Efebo, Apollonio, who by then had become devoted Christians, carted it on horses along the river Nera to a place where today the modern Cathedral stands to honour St.Valentine.

From a Buddha Dhamma viewpoint is St.Valentine worthy of honour and respect? In other words, was he a wise person?.

If you are to apply a Buddha Dhamma analysis to this question the answer becomes clear.

The Buddha taught his students to pay respect to the wise.

What is the definition of a wise person?

As the wise do not wear t-shirts stating "I am wise" one must apply the teaching of Buddha Dhamma in order to come to the correct view.

A wise person understands the Four Noble Truths, which are:

1. Life is suffering (in Pali: dukkha)
2. The cause of suffering (dukkha) is grabbing and grasping (in Pali: samudaya)
3. There is a path to the cessation of suffering (in Pali: nirodha)
4. This path to the cessation of suffering is the Buddhist Eightfold Path (in Pali: magga)

The eight factors of the Path are:

1. Right Understanding (in Pali: samma-ditthi)
2. Right Thought (in Pali: samma-sankappa)

The first two of the eight factors belong to the Wisdom (in Pali: panna) group

3. Right Speech (samma-vaca)
4. Right Action (samma-kammanta)
5. Right Livelihood (samma-ajiva)

The 3rd, 4th and 5th factors belong to the Virtue (in Pali: sila) group

6. Right Effort (samma-vayama)
7. Right Mindfulness (samma-sati)
8. Right Concentration (samma-samadhi)

The 6th, 7th and 8th factors belong to the Concentration (in Pali: samadhi) group

A wise person understands the law of cause and effect. The Buddha taught his lay students to hold a minimum of five precepts, which are:

1. To refrain from killing
2. To refrain from taking what is not freely given
3. To refrain from lying
4. To refrain from misconduct in sexual pleasures
5. To refrain from taking intoxicants which are the cause for carelessness

To answer the question as to whether St.Valentine was wise, or for that matter, whether anybody you meet is wise, you must apply the above matrix to come to right understanding.

To develop a more thorough understanding of cause and effect: the wise actions of St.Valentine lead to positive fruition in his present and future lives, and the unwise actions of St.Valentine lead to the negative fruition in his present and future lives.

It is therefore prudent for you to carefully investigate any role model you are unconsciously or consciously following. If the actions of your role model result in his or her happiness in this and future lives, then you have chosen a wise role model. However, if the actions of your role model result in his or her suffering in this and future lives then it is recommended you be cautious.

Traditionally, St.Valentine's Day, held on the February 14 each year, brings to life notions and ideals of romance and love between men and women. Valentine's day reminds us of the celebration of love.

In modern Italian culture, the term "Voler Bene", which is derived from early Roman times, is used to mean 'a giving of love and caring'. Love and a successful relationship brings much happiness and mutual blessings.

But love and the development of a true relationship requires more than just the offering of red roses once a year.

How can we achieve a true relationship?

The Buddha taught his lay students to hold the five precepts. Today we will examine the precept of refraining from sexual misconduct and the blessing this will have for you in maintaining a true relationship.

The beneficial results of refraining from sexual misconduct which may arise in this present life and/or a future lifetime are:

1. having no enemies
2. being the object of affection and regard by all others
3. being able to obtain food, beverages, clothes and ornaments readily
4. being able to sleep well and peacefully
5. being able to wake up in peace and comfort
6. being free from falling into the lower planes
7. being free from the state of a eunuch
8. being free from gusts of hot anger
9. being given to just and fair actions
10. having a fresh and happy face
11. being able to enjoy comfort and well being
12. being free from physical defects and deformities
13. having a sound and healthy appearance
14. not being assailed by doubts and suspicions
15. having no anxiety or worry
16. being able to live in calm happiness
17. having no dangers, or threats, or harm
18. being able to associate with loved ones

The above benefits appeared in an article titled "The Five Precepts - Panca Sila" by Maha Upasaka U Nu, published in " The Young Buddhist 1982", the annual journal of the Singapore Buddha-Yana Organisation (SYBO) (5).

This extract was reprinted in the Buddhist Discussion Centre (Upwey) Ltd Newsletter No. 12, September 1983.

In the development of a true relationship the Buddha advised the practice of 'caga', which is emotional maturity.

At a five day Meditation Course held at the Buddhist Discussion Centre (Upwey) Ltd from 1st to 5th April 1988, our teacher John D. Hughes taught the understanding of Nama Rupa (body/form) thus achieving mindfulness of body in the present, leading to the foundation of caga.

The development of caga (pronounced 'charga'). which translates as "emotional maturity", differs from metta (or loving-kindness) in that caga is passive while mette is active. Caga, when developed, becomes another attribute of the meditator, whereas metta requires a sender and receiver.

If persons meet with caga, they will meet again in a future life.

During the Meditation Course, the Centre was circumambulated by the meditators each carrying incense, flowers or food as offerings. The instruction was to be mindful of the body, in the present, developing caga whilst walking around the Centre.

Our teacher explained that the Centre has many assets or resources, but the greatest resource is the Members. The Members contribute their time, skills, energy and personal resources for the benefit of the Centre and other beings. When these contributions are made with mindfulness and caga, the practitioner and others benefit greatly.

One other integral part teaches us to develop 'love' towards other beings. But just how is this to be achieved?

It is often thought that 'love' with another person can be developed by giving them something, for example, money, the use of our car, flowers, a film ticket, or a paid holiday.

More in accord with Buddha Dhamma is the recognition that our generosity (dana) must be practiced with caga, clear intention and awareness of our friend's real needs.

The Metta Sutta method of the practice of Loving Kindness was taught by the Lord Buddha.
When metta practice is well developed, it should be given to all beings, just as an upturned water jar gives water in all directions without bias.

True esteem and affection arises from the provision of things that genuinely bless the receiver.

Thoughtless giving between people creates relationships based upon notions of obligation which lead either one or both persons to accuse the other of a lack of affection with such words as "You should be more grateful.. after all I've done for (given) you".

In such relationships, have not both persons been, more than to the other person, unfair to themselves?

Unfair in the sense that, whatever emotional security we can gain from others by giving them presents with an implicit demand that they love us, is based upon our own refusal to be loved at the present time.

Is it possible to offer something to another other person with love if our gift is tied to some kind of obligation and not to loving intention?

Reciprocity of affection, of love as something developed by mutual action and response between persons, is closer in meaning to the 'love' of Buddha Dhamma.

Principles of relations between persons may be extended, surely, to include the development of benevolence to all persons.

Buddha Dhamma shows this is possible because of the existence of needs common to all human beings.

However, the development of 'compassion' without wisdom is not sufficient to obtain insight into 'what is what', into the conditions of existence. It should be almost unnecessary to add that the reverse is also true.

Compassion without wisdom is ultimately untenable. The Macquarie Dictionary (6) defines 'untenable' as being incapable of being held against attack.

For caga (emotional maturity) and love to flourish and endure within a true relationship three important conditions are required.

These are: appreciation, empathy and forgiveness.

Appreciation

Each partner should appreciate the fortunate conditions of being able to meet and to love together in this lifetime.

All relationships are based on the accumulation of kamma which is the result of one's actions through many past lives. Broadly speaking, among all the possible kinds of relationships, the partnership of husband and wife occurs through the gathering of much deeper kamma than any other type of relationship. It is the result of many virtuous deeds and actions in the past. In a marriage there is the opportunity to produce and amass the many good causes which result in great happiness.

The Buddha taught (in "The 'Good Born' Young Man Sutra") his lay people how to maintain right love in three right ways. This is applicable to marriage.

The first right way is that each should have respect for the other;
The second right way is that each should be sustained by the other physically; emotionally and mentally;
The third right way is that each should be comforted with wisdom and understanding.

In China, there is a common saying that husband and wife should always be respectful to each other, as if each were welcoming a newly come noble guest.

Empathy

Empathy is knowing and understanding another person's needs, wants and desires. The two opposites of male and female are just like the positive and negative forces of electricity. They must be like this so that they can help each other. Let each have their different views and opinions and needs - but with empathy they can still come together and harmonise every kind of contradiction.

When we love together, there is love and when we quarrel there is also love, enduring love.

By this way our love can be kept a long time.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the third important condition. It enables any discord that arises to give way immediately to the relish of concord. The relationship of marriage is normally based on love not reason. Hence, our manner to each other should be to forgive and not to judge. Through forgiveness, what is broken is made whole again, and what is muddied is made clear again.

Through the conditions of appreciation, empathy and forgiveness one's marriage will endure a long time.

The Sigalovada Sutta, which is a code of discipline given by 'The Buddha for Lay Buddhists', (published by the Buddhist Missionary Society, Young Buddhist Association of Malaysia 1987) (6) gives clear guidance to lay persons in the areas of domestic and social life. The purpose of this code of discipline is to provide the basis of proper conduct, self control and guidelines for laypersons to lead a happy, peaceful and worthwhile household life.

The Sutta explains such things as the channels of dissipation of wealth, the four kinds of enemies who masquerade as friends, the four kinds of real friends and the proper responsibilities to the various kinds of relationships in the householder's life.

In the relationship of husband and wife there are five ways described by which the wife shows her compassion and kindness to her husband and five ways described by which the husband shows his compassion and kindness to his wife.

Regarding the proper conduct for a husband and wife the Buddha stated that:

In five ways, should a wife as the West be ministered by her husband:-
i. by courtesy,
ii. by not despising her,
iii. by faithfulness,
iv. by handing over authority to her,
v. by providing her with ornaments.

The wife who is thus ministered to by her husband as the West shows her compassion to her husband in five ways:-
i. she performs her duties in perfect order,
ii. she is hospitable,
iii. she is not unfaithful,
iv she protects what he brings,
v. she is industrious and not lazy in discharging her duties.

In these five ways does the wife show her compassion to her husband who ministers to her as the West. Thus is the West covered and made secure and safe.

The wife looks after her husband in these five ways. These are to create good conditions in future times.

1. she carries out her responsibilities with regards to the family welfare and well being with an appropriate sense of priorities.
2. she is hospitable and welcoming to friends, guests and other visitors to the family environment. She is first to get up and last to go to bed. She puts visitors first ahead of her own needs. This causes her to be welcome wherever she goes in future lives.
3. she is faithful

If two lovers exchanged flowers with each other on St.Valentine's Day (or any other day) with the thought of transformation of merit to caga, it would be possible for those two lovers to meet again in a future life. The potential for this positive action using the merit of flowers is why we choose to sell flowers on this day.

Our flower stalls will be located in Lilydale and Wantirna, Monday 14 February from 12.00 pm. We look forward to seeing you there.

May you develop caga in your relationships this very life, for caga has its basis in wisdom.

As Je Tsong-k-hapa taught:

Whenever there is no interest or attachment
for even a second to samsaric pleasures,
And the thought seeking liberation
Arises day and night-
Whoever has developed such a mental state
has achieved the realisation of the fully renounced mind.

May you love and be loved.

May you be well and happy.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!

This script was written and edited by John D. Hughes and Leanne Eames.

References:

1. Ikeda, Daisaku, 'Buddhism:The Living Philosophy', published by The East Publications, Inc., Japan, 1974.

2. Sobhana, Venerable Sayadaw U, 'Theory of Kamma in Buddhism', reproduced in a publication titled 'An Introduction to Buddha Dhamma' (donated by U Kyaw Thein Lwin and family), Thailand, 1972 (reproduced by Vincenzo Cavuoto).

3. Sayadaw, Venerable Mahasi, 'One Truth Only', Inward Path Publisher, Malaysia, 1998.

4. St.Valentine, City of Terni, Italy internet site: www.fcesi.wnet.it/TernilnlLinea/vita.htm

5. Maha Upasaka U Nu, "The Five Precepts - Panca Sila" published in " The Young Buddhist 1982", the annual journal of the Singapore Buddha-Yana Organisation (SYBO). This extract was reprinted in the Buddhist Discussion Centre (Upwey) Ltd. Newsletter No 12, September 1983.

6. Sigalovada Sutta. 'The Buddha for lay Buddhists', published by the Buddhist Missionary Society, Young Buddhist Association of Malaysia 1987



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